ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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