Reggie can tackle my bush.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We talked him into tasing himself.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
