i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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