The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
