Me too!
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
