I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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