well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize