I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
