Quick, to the slutcave!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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