apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
