Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
