i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
