he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
