I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
