32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
