I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
