There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
