I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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