we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
