the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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