he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
These tits shall not be calmed
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
