More tranny stories later!
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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