Screwed.edu
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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