MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
