smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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