I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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