I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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