Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
