She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
