Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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