god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
