he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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