i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
