Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
