is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
