So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I seem to have left my pride at pride
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
