look no pants
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
