So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
