he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
