I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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