I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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