Me. At least after what I've been through.
i would punch a child for taco bell
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
