i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think i got beer on your cat.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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