Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
