My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
