All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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