shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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