I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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