Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We don't watch enough power rangers
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
