do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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