Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
