how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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