Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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