I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
