Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
