I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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