Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
