You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
