We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i wish my penis had a tongue
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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