you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
