I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
