you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
