Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
