Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
