I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
