good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
